You know, I once told my cousin, that there are two types of movement in this life. The first one is obvious. It’s what our legs are for. They move us around in this earthly realm. They move us into vacation and they move us into a new city and sometimes they move us into a new life.
The other movement is different from that. It’s not physical. It’s our journey within. And this time, I don’t even mean the healing journey. I mean the progression on the plan of our soul, which surely includes healing, but is different from it.
I myself was stuck for a long time. And then, the pain got too strong. This is life’s way of telling us to move on, by the way. Pain and suffering. We’re so stuck, it hurts physically.
The first advice I got from an alternative practitioner as well as my therapist in the early stages of my transisition (hi, I’m transgender, btw.) was, to move from our village into a city. Somewhere more anonymous. I never did that, because I saw no reason to do so. I actually did very little physical movement. Instead (more by accident than by active choice, actually), I focused on my inner journey.
The hard part of that “secondary” movement is to figure out, where to “go” next. Mine led me to becoming a Zumba trainer, a yoga trainer, a witch, a shaman, a parent, a camper and currently I’m signed up in a course called “Human Energetic Practitioner”. I’m working on opening my own energetic practice and to be honest, I’m frightened.
I’m not sure, that I should help people with anything. That I even can help. I have not found my own way. On the other hand, other people, who are less qualified by own experience and more by their training, consider themselfes able to help people, too.
Thinking about it, this is probably some remnant of “I’m not good enough”. Anyway, I will find out. Because the healer within me wants out and this is probably the way to do it. I am driven. Just like back then, when I realized I am transgender and unable to do anything about it. I was afraid, too.
