You know, I learned a very important lesson when doing the Chakra Shuddi course after my 300 hours Yoga teacher training. Because Chakra Shuddi was so intense for me (I dare to say, it was traumatic in it’s own right), I needed a new way to handle my growth and my soul delivered.
We did around twenty sessions of Chakra Shuddi, where our teacher guided us into a deep state of meditation and then through some visualisations of energy (prana) flowing through the triggering point of the Chakra on the front of the body into the Chakra. After that, we visualized the Chakra and it’s cleansing.
I never knew, what was coming, when we did the Chakras one by one. I knew, it probably would be intense, because I have been doing a variation of Chakra Shuddi for many years now and on some occasions, it was rather orgasmatic while on some other occasions, it was devastating. Mostly, I can handle it, because I am in control.
Well, not so, if I am directed by some other person. I had really great experiences with light and love and warm, fuzzy, feelings. They were great and without them keeping me up, I would probably not be able to continue this crazy journey.
They other days were (I find it hard to write it down, that is no good sign right now…) filled with tears, crying, screaming, my body twisting and turning itself on the mat. Most of the time, I already began crying and screaming, when we started with pranayama. Yes, it is a good thing I did the course online. Because this would have disturbed my fellow practitioners a “little” bit.
Give me a second, I’m trying to feel, if something of this experience wants out right now. Because I’m feeling shaken inside at the moment…
Hmm, it feels like I have not yet processed the full experience. Like there is more work to be done. As you might have guessd, I am using this post to at least start processing this experience 😇
I already wrote somewhere, that I fell into a deep hole after the Yoga teacher training. I suppose, a big part of that hole is due to Chakra Shuddi. Because it moved me so fast, that I could not keep up. I have the feeling this is still the case right now. I… I have not yet reached to the point, where I was propelled to.
Why? Probably because almost at every session I needed to leave an old part of me behind and move into the “future”. After the really intense experiences, I would stand up, visualize my old me still sitting there and make a step forward. Then I would turn around and sit in front of my old me, comforting it and thanking it, that it got me this far. Then I would watch it disapprear, usually again crying.
Some sessions I did this multiple times. And now I am so far ahead, that all my support structure is lagging behind. I somehow need to upgrade my supports, to fit this new version of me. Part of it already happened, but it does not feel finished and the way forward needs some more visions and realizations…
