Red pill? White rabbit? Wtf?
Enter the Matrix Wonderland with me
If you’ve asked yourself “what is it with her and the red pill?”, and “why a rabbit?”, then this post is for you.
The red pill is a reference to the movie “The Matrix”, where the characters are unknowingly living in a virtual world built by machines. In one scene, the main character “Neo” has the choice between a red and a blue pill. If he takes the red pill, he “awakens” to the truth and is freed from the matrix. If he takes the blue pill, he will remain “sleeping”, unknowing of the truth.
I like the matrix movies, because they reflect my awakening in the real world. Living in the matrix for me, is like my life before starting to transition. It’s like accepting the status quo of the (in my case western) world and just living within the boundaries of what is perceived as “norm”. My red pill, which I had to swallow, was, that I am transgender. Since then, I am living in my own Wonderland.
It’s like I followed the white rabbit (my emotions) and it led me to that hole (being trans). I fell down (transition) and landed in a crazy colorful Wonderland, just like Alice did, in Lewis Carrolls book. In my Wonderland, magic is real and I am connected to the environment around me. I have gods, spirit guides, plants that help me, monsters, dead people… It is a crazy world, I agree. But only if I look at it from the perspective of my old me. Because I always knew, it is not crazy. It took the red pill for me to realize, that this world is perfectly fine. It was my brain, that was wired the wrong way.
So, welcome to my Matrix Wonderland. Stay awhile and listen.
Love, Julia