Yesterday I went to a seminar about shamanism. I’m still processing the event and I hope this post will help me with it. The seminar was the first out of three or more, this particular shaman offers. It’s intended to teach ordinary people shamanism. I’m not sure, if that is such a great idea.
We started the day at 9 o’clock with an introduction round. Nothing special to report.
Afterwards we played on the drums we brought with us or with the ones we borrowed. I think it’s great to ride the waves of the drums played by twelve people at the same time.
She explained a bit about shamanism, about the upper world, the lower world and our world. How there are portals between them and shamans can travel all three of them. Our first shamanic action would be, to find our entrance to the lower world, or the underworld. It’s important to note, that this is not hell, we’re not in christian realms. In fact, shamans do not recognize “good” or “bad” places. There are just places. She’d play her drum for about 15 minutes and asked us to sit up, when we are finished before she is. To let us know, she is about to finish, she’d play fast and then four timed four slow beats. We should just set the intention of our goal and let the vision guide us. “intentionless intention”
I did not lie down, but rather sat, like I always do, when I meditate. I asked into myself “where is my entrance to my lower world?”. The answer was just “down my spine”. OK, so nowhere to go, fine. Done.
The next instruction was, to enter the lower world. My message was, that I did not need to. It is here, in my middle world. OK, fine.
Next up was the upper world. We should find the entrance and enter in one step. I didn’t feel the need to “go” anywhere. Hmm.
Then, re-enter the lower world and ask for a power-animal to show itself. We should “collect” it with our hands and bring it into our hearts. To bring it with us, into middle earth. I was hungry and without work. I already had done this, too, long ago. I even bought a little ceramic doe, to bring her into this world. She stands on my desk ever since.
The next assignment was, to enter the upper world and bring a teacher with us. We should ask, if he/she wanted to be our teacher and again put the energy into our heart. I just saw in front of me, the long line of teachers I had, throughout the years. I never asked anyone to teach me. They always gave freely by themselves. In fact, oftentimes it felt more like they bestowed their wisdom on me unsolicited. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for their service to me. Yet, this whole process of spiritual development feels kind of out of my control. Which surely is the intention, but also leaves me with the feeling of powerlessness. Nevertheless, I thanked all my masters, bowed to them and came back. Nothing else to do, really.
I think, this was around the time we made our lunch break. Which was greatly appreciated by me, because I was hungry. She asked of us us, to go to the next park and get a stick and a stone back. We would need it.
After the lunch break, the next task was to bring our teachers and power-animals to one place, to the “regulars' table”, she called it. Alright, nothing to do. I’ve got my campfire for like years now. Although it mainly consists of my inner child, my shamanic teacher from a past life, which I call “father” and three of my past lives. Iris the shaman, Julia the witch and Erika the World War 2 doctor. I never thought of my power-animal(s) to be there, too. But yeah, I like that idea. The fire is on a clearing in a forest, after all. And a deep lake is there, too. Nehéma lives there. Cool.
After that, we started to work on each other. We should bring a power-animal for the other person and “blow” it into their hearts. The next task was, to bring a teacher for the other person. I was not so sure about either one. My experience with connecting with another person like that, was a little bit krass. I did something similar during the tarot course and the other person’s energy did a number on me. But well, I did and it was OK this time. I probably was on my guard.
She explained about “dismemberment”. It is the process of letting the ego go. We should ask our spirit-team to do it, every time before we did anything shamanic. She spoke about it, like it was nothing major. It even sounded fun. I’m not sure what she means though. My dismemberment throughout the years has been the antidote to fun. It actually felt lke dying. Well, OK, different experiences…
Then, she split us into two groups of five and six people and we should “treat” one of us lying on the ground. I’m accustomed to energy work on other people and it was fun. I was not especially shamanic about it and mainly improved their well-being though their chakras. Two of them had no special request. The third one had a sore throat. Can do.
Now we get to the fun part of this story. I was unsure about me lying down on the floor. I react strongly to such things, after all. But one of them encouraged me and I thought to myself “well, what the heck”. So I put myself at their mercy. In hindsight, I should have done it by myself. But I’ve learned a lot about other people, so, maybe it was alright? But let me tell you:
I told them, that there was something in my belly, that I had felt earlier in the seminar. It felt like I probably had to throw up eventually. I asked them to help me get it out. I went in the center of the circle and let myself float with the drums. Of course, the drums worked like a charm and about thirty seconds in, I was lying on the floor, twitching and bending my body in all kinds of directions. I started screaming and crying like there was no tomorrow. This was, when the seminar leader saw the need to intervene. She called “birth” and tried to get me on my feet. I declined and stayed on the ground. Another one, who visited the seminar a second time, also felt called to action. She worked to get my legs apart and pull out of me, whatever she thought it was. Probably something bad. I screamed several times, but it was over as quickly, as it started. I did not see, what she did with the energy, she pulled out of me, but she probably threw it out the window or something like that. It must be bad, after all.
Ok, let’s dissect this, I try to be polite. The seminar leader was right, it was a birth. Kudos. Everything that followed, was uncalled for. In my opinion, there was no need for me, to stand up. This birth does not follow any physical laws. I’ve done it five or six times, I forgot to count. Gravity will not help with this one. She trying to get me to stand up, only distracted me from my work. The second, well-meaning person working on my legs and pulling the energy out of me, felt like she was abusing me. Sorry, I have no other word for it. There was no need to pull anything. This is nature. It’ll come out by its own. After she had pulled it out, she threw it away. In my opinion, this speaks volumes about the capacity to look things in the eye. Of course, I want to see, what came out of me. No matter, how “ugly” it looks. Luckily, I can go back, stop time and rescue this poor new life, before it gets thrown out the window, down to the street. I can just give her the empty husk to throw out. But imagine, I could not do that. I would have lost this incredible opportunity. Yes, this new life was ugly at first. It was like a black blob with spikes, twisting and turning in my hands. But I just blew that away, with a single breath. Nothing else was required, to transform this ugly thing to a wondrous new life. I gazed at it’s beauty and put it into my heart. It’s a part of me, that was born, after all. And it’s home now. I’ll take good care of it. I’m not totally sure jet, but I think, this new life is about me being ready to share my gifts more with the world.
Back to the seminar. We made a break afterwards and I was shaking. I ate some fruits and chocolate, to get energy. I tried to process and integrate, what had happened. It worked more or less good.
The next task was, to work in pairs and give the stick and stone, we had collected earlier, to the other person. She then would sing the blockages from the stick’s owner onto the stick and mark them by scratching on it with the stone. I was busy with myself and passed this one.
Next up, was some good old drumming for 15 minutes or so. The waves, that so many drums create, are just amazing.
In hindsight I must say, that I probably was not there for the shamanism. Not for the most part, at least. I was there to check, how far I’ve come. Where I stand with my own practice. To get a feeling for what others deem enough, to offer their services to other people. I must say, it is a rather low bar. At least, in this case.
The last thing we did, was to sing a song:
May you walk in beauty in a sacred way,
may you walk in beauty each and every day.May the beauty of the fire lift your spirit higher,
may the beauty of the earth fill your heart with mirth,
may the beauty of the rain wash away your pain,
may the beauty of the sky teach your mind to fly.May you walk in beauty in a sacred way,
may you walk in beauty each and every day.
Love, Julia