Who would've known
Visiting the earth
You know, I’m always an a quest to relax more. Back when I started, more than ten years ago, I consisted of pure stress. I have come a loooooooong way since then.
But when I learned recently, that dried fly amanita has the effect of calmness and relaxation, I just needed to try it. So after a little research, I bought 15 grams of fly amanita powder, which arrived a few days later. I bought it, because I’m a little late to find and collect some specimens myself. I wrote it in my calendar for next year. I don’t know, if it grows around here, though.
I also ordered a microgram-scale, because I want to be sure, not to overdose by accident. I read of doses ranging from 0.1 to 0.3 gram. So, better be safe.
The powder arrived yesterday and before it was here, I was sure I would not consume it, but only use it for smudging. As you can guess, that intention faded as fast as smoke in the wind, when I sat down in the evening and weighed the powder with my new scale. Before I could really think about it, I licked my finger, put it in the powder and then the finger in my mouth. It has a somehow pungent taste, I can tell you.
I looked at the scale to see, how much of the powder I took and it was only 0.02 grams. As it was only a fifth of the minimum dose I read of, I decided I would be ok. Nonetheless, it hat it’s effect and calmed me down quite nicely. I was able to process some trauma, which I was unable before, because I somehow had more distance to it.
Fast forward to today. I took around 0.03 grams, so I increased the dose. And boy, I did not expect what was coming for me, as I sat down for meditation. Because It was like the relaxation drew me down into the earth, to the dwarfs and fairies. At first, I was unsure, what to do and I decided not to interact. I always like to watch and wait first, if I don’t know a situation. After a few minutes, they took an interest in me.
I decided, what the heck, and asked them, if they would be willing to dismember, what I would no longer need. It seems to be, what they were waiting for, because they were all over me. I could let go a lot of stuff and at some point in the process, I felt like a plant. Like a potato, deep in the ground. Roots sprouted out of me, out of my heart chakra, my fingers, my head, ever deeper into the ground.
Out of my back grew a sapling, which found it’s way to the surface. It grew bigger and sprouted leaves, which caught the sunlight and brought it’s energy down to me. It was so quiet and peaceful. At some point, I wanted to come back, but the message was, that I was not ready, so I stayed for a while longer.
When I sensed them being done, I thanked them, drew back my roots and leaves and came back. You know, I am so grateful for experiences like this. I know they sound crazy, but I do not care, because what they do, is real for me. They help me process. Find peace. Move on. That is worth any amount of crazy for me.
